Road Map

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Overview:
- Estimated difficulty: 3/10 [for "The Flapmaster"]
- Offline: 30 [1000]
- Online: 0
- Approximate amount of time to 1000: 2-10+ hours [for "The Flapmaster"]
- Minimum number of playthroughs needed: 1
- Number of missable achievements: None
- Does difficulty affect achievements: No difficulty
- Do cheat codes disable achievements: No cheat codes
- Glitchy / unobtainable achievements: No
- Extra equipment needed: No
- Stackable achievements: Yes. You can play both the Xbox 360 and Xbox One versions and earn 1000 in each version.

  • DLC: Goat Simulator: GoatZ
    • Difficulty: 2/10
    • Time to 360: 4-5 Hours
    • Unobtainable: None
  • DLC: Goat Simulator: Goat MMO
    • Difficulty: 1/10
    • Time to 640: 2-3 Hours
    • Unobtainable: None
  • DLC: Goat Simulator: Payday
    • Difficulty: 2/10
    • Time to 195: 2-3 Hours
    • Unobtainable: None
  • DLC: Goat Simulator: Waste of Space
    • Difficulty: 3/10 [for the three piloting achievements]
    • Time to 180: 4-5 Hours
    • Unobtainable: None

Thanks to KorbeK Gaming and Maka91Productions for use of their videos. Credit goes to Maka for providing the basis for much of this guide.

Introduction:
Originally released on Steam for the PC, Goat Simulator is a game with no real purpose or direction. It is literally a game where you run around the map as a goat and cause havoc. That’s it. There is no story to speak of; it is simply a physics playground designed around how certain objects (you, the goat) interact with other objects (the environment). The game is littered with countless bugs and glitches, but none that cause any achievements to be unobtainable.

This game is pretty straightforward when it comes to the achievements, and none are missable. There are two locations, Goat Ville and Goat City Bay. Most of the achievements are specific to one location or the other, so it is recommended that, to save time, you complete one location before moving on to the next.

Aside from unlocking achievements, you earn a score for doing certain actions, like wall jumping, chaining together destruction, unlocking mutators, and so on. If you are not interested in the leaderboards, the prospect of points in this game is utterly meaningless.

Speaking of mutators, these are features that you unlock throughout the game that can aid you in earning achievements quicker. They can modify your appearance, alter your physics properties or bestow upon you special abilities. While most of them are just a novelty, the Angel Goat and Double Jump mutators are almost a necessity. Double Jump enables you to, guess what, double jump, while Angel Goat allows you to jump higher and farther than you thought possible. Double Jump is unlocked by default, and when you unlock Angel Goat, it is recommended that they always be turned on.

This game can be played solo or split-screen co-op. All achievements are attainable regardless of how you play it, but take note; if playing co-op, only player 1 earns the achievements, even if player 2 fulfills the requirements. 

Abbreviated Walkthrough:
While you have access to both locations right from the start and can unlock the achievements in any order, it is best to unlock "Angel Goat" as early as possible, as when combined with the Double Jump mutator, it makes it easier to access higher areas and unlock pretty much every achievement. 

Note: The requirements for the achievement "Devil Goat" are different on the Xbox 360 than they are on the Xbox One. On the Xbox One, you can only summon four goats at any one time with the Goat Queen; on the Xbox 360 there is no limit.

Goat Ville:
There are 16 achievements to unlock specifically in Goat Ville. For the purpose of this guide, I will be using the house you spawn in front of at the beginning of the game as a reference point.

All of the achievements in this location are relatively easy to unlock, with "Mile High Club" and "Around the World in 5 Jumps" possibly requiring multiple tries. Most of them require just a specific action or two for them to unlock, with each taking only a minute or two.

The only Goat Ville-specific achievement that make take a little time (and by that I mean 15-20 minutes) is the collection of the 20 golden trophies for the "Try Hard" achievement; and even that isn’t difficult. Most you will come across as you run back and forth across the small map unlocking the other achievements. Refer to the video in the solution if you are having trouble locating any of them.

Goat City Bay:
There are 10 achievements to unlock specifically in Goat City Bay. For the purpose of this guide, I will be using the hotel skyscraper as a reference point.

These achievements take even less time to unlock than the ones in Goat Ville, with just about all of them requiring only one or two actions. "Is that a goat?" and "Hat Simulator" require you to locate items and bring it to another location, but again, these take no time at all. The only one that takes longer is the collectible one, "I freaking love goats." Refer to the video in the solution if you are having trouble locating any of them.

Mop Up:
Besides "Angel Goat," there are three final achievements that you can unlock in either location. They are "One Ball," "Tony Goat" and "The Flapmaster." Of these three, the only one that may (will) give you issues is "The Flapmaster." It is similar to the popular mobile game called Flappy Bird, but instead of a bird, you are a goat. There are two locations in the game to play this, but regardless of where you play it, it will be difficult and frustrating. This may take you one try or it may take you a hundred, but this one achievement is the reason why the difficulty and completion time for this game is what it is. Good luck.

GoatZ DLC

Introduction:
GoatZ is an add on for the game Goat Simulator. This DLC is a spoof of the zombie genre where you have to survive the apocalypse against both human and goat undead.

The achievements in this DLC are relatively straightforward. There is a good mix of single task achievements and ones that you have to complete in one game. Overall, these aren’t too bad as they are monotonous. And although there are golden goat statues in this DLC, there is no achievement for collecting them all.

Note: It is recommended that you activate both the ‘Casual Goat’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators. This will prevent you from starving and make you invulnerable.

Inventory Chest Mutator:
If you have the Goat MMO DLC purchased and installed, there is an Inventory Chest mutator which allows you to lick an item and place it in your inventory (instead of dragging it around with your tongue). If you do not have Goat MMO, then this mutator is not available.

This mutator is extremely helpful with the achievements “Survivalist” and “Shattered dreams.” Solutions for both with and without the ‘Inventory’ mutator are provided.

Abbreviated Walkthrough:
There are three modes: Tutorial, Before Outbreak and After Outbreak. Start a game in the tutorial to unlock the “Too much fun” achievement. All of the other achievements can be unlocked in one ‘After Outbreak’ game.

There are 7 achievements that require you to perform a single task. Some of them can be done immediately (“Big in Japan,” “I am Goat,” “Masterchef,” and “Warm Bath”) while others require you to unlock a mutator first (“Goat from above,” “Hang tight,” and “Look at it go!”). These should be knocked out first so you can concentrate on the ‘one game’ achievements.

Over the course of the game, you will unlock “Survive for your life” where you need to survive 10 days. Since you have the ‘Casual Goat’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators on, you can’t die so this will unlock naturally.

The remaining five achievements each have to be done in one game, meaning that you can’t quit playing and come back to them at another time (unless you leave your console on while you are paused in the game). This also means that you can’t restart the game from the menu if you mess up. If you quit out for any reason, you lose all progress. You can play five separate games but it’s easier just to do them all in one if you have the time. Four of the five can be worked on at the same time; these are “A new challenger has appeared,” “Survivalist,” “The Goa’th amendment,” and “Don’t starve.” For “Shattered dreams,” you need to retrieve three barrels in order to freeze and shatter 30 zombies with your breath. These five achievements should take around three hours to complete.

Conclusion:
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about four hours. Congratulations!

Goat MMO DLC

Introduction:
Goat MMO Simulator is an add on for the game Goat Simulator which takes you to a fictional medieval land in search of treasures and glory. Although it has the appearance of an MMO (fake chat, leveling up, quests, etc.), this game is not massive nor is it online, but you can play with up to three friends on the same console, so it technically does include multiplayer.

The achievements in this DLC are very straightforward and don’t take very long to complete. The only achievement that might take some time (and by some time, I mean 15 minutes tops) is collecting the 20 golden goat statues. This DLC is quite easy.

Abbreviated Walkthrough:
You can tackle the achievements in any order you want. Most of them are straightforward as they only require you to perform a single task, but there are a few where you have to complete a quest or retrieve an item to unlock the achievement. Also, as you move around the land, you will unlock zones for “The Charter Trip.” If you are collecting the golden goat statues for “Love or Hate?,” you will travel through all the zones except for one.

Conclusion:
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in less than two hours. Congratulations!

Payday DLC

Introduction:
Payday is an add on for the game Goat Simulator. It was released on Steam in January 2016 and borrows its theme of the heist game Payday 2. Enjoy a life of crime with one of four crew members, each with a unique ability:

  • Humphrey Chiabatta (the camel) - can spit water from his mouth
  • Valentino Salami (the flamingo) - can fly and control NPCs minds
  • Dolph Spaghetti (the dolphin) - can raise and lower his when chair and stick to surfaces
  • Don Pastrami (the ram) - has no discernable abilities

Use a BAAA machine to start pranks which earn you cash. Spend that cash on crew gear or blow it at the casino. Travel around the brand new map and serve NPCs hamburgers, rescue cats, break into a bank to steal a cheese sandwich or just cruise around with your fellow crew members. The possibilities are endless!

Abbreviated Walkthrough:
You can tackle the achievements in any order you want. The achievements in this DLC are relatively straightforward as just about all of them are based on doing a single task (with the exception of “Retirement”). That one will probably take you the longest to unlock, and by longest I mean about 30 minutes. Then there’s an achievement for collecting 20 golden heart statues which should take you about another 15 minutes if you follow a video guide.

With the exception of crew member specific achievements (“Goatfellas,” “Goatipede,” and “You raise me up!”), it is recommended that you use Valentino Salami (the flamingo) for everything since he can fly and makes going from location to location much easier.

Below is a YouTube playlist by Achievement Land which has videos for every achievement except “Retirement” and “The Big Score.” Videos for those two are provided in the guide.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjYy_11XkXdzQuYPovlo_Iy7nYEWa1X3y

Conclusion:
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about 2-3 hours. Congratulations!

Waste of Space DLC

Introduction:
Waste of Space is the newest DLC for the game Goat Simulator. You “work” for a crowdfunding company called ‘Crowd Kicker’ where you go around raising funds to open new attractions for the moon colony. Some of the achievements require you to have raised a certain amount of money before you have access to all the attractions.

This DLC makes fun of Star Wars, Alien, Portal, Mass Effect and Doctor Who, among other properties.

Abbreviated Walkthrough:
The achievements in this DLC are very straightforward and don’t take very long to complete. Some require you to complete a single task while others have multiple steps to complete. You can tackle the achievements in any order you want.

As you go around the map unlocking achievements, headbutt humans and crates and complete tasks to accumulate money towards “I Wanna Be A Baahlionaire.” Scattered around the map are 30 golden rocket collectibles to find to unlock “NERD!” and completing all 8 test chambers will unlock “Testaholic.” Other less time consuming achievements are “IT’S WORKING!,” “Use The Sword, Goat” and “The World Is Your Canvas.”

Then there are achievements that require multiple steps. For “Timey Wimey,” you have to activate and follow the TURDIS around to three locations to access the badehaus. “My Little Brony” requires you to search the Carrier to collect five pony horses, then you need to destroy 37 glowing green alien eggs for “The Alien Or The Egg?”

“Be Not Afreight,” “Ruler Of the Seven Skies,” and “Bacon Marauder”, where you need to pilot a spaceship and destroy ships, are the most time consuming as the controls are awful, even once you get the hang of them. Still, they’re less frustrating than Flappy Goat.

Provided is a YouTube playlist from Ktcee Achiever which has videos for every achievement in this DLC, so if you are having trouble with anything, refer to these.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7QBiF-tl_lOJ8w05vroMWQ/search?query=waste+of+space

Conclusion:
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about five hours. Congratulations!

Overall Conclusion:
With the exception of "The Flapmaster," this was a relatively easy 1000. I hope you had fun playing it!

[XBA would like to thank bLaKgRaVy and Maka for this Roadmap]
[XBA would like to thank bLaKgRaVy for the all four DLC Roadmaps]

Goat Simulator Achievement Guide

Printable Guide
Show completed achievements
Show secret achievements

There are 85 achievements with a total of 2375 points

  • Goat Queen

     

    30

    Become the Queen of Goat Ville

    (2)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, in the far left corner of the fenced-in area you are in you will see a short tower with a spiral staircase. Walk up to the top and go through the black door at the top. You will appear in front of a large door. Go through it into a throne room and walk straight ahead to the throne. Jump on the throne and fire will spew from it. When you are teleported back to the yard after about five seconds, the message "GOATS FOR THE GOAT THRONE" appears on the screen, unlocking the achievement.

    The video below shows how to unlock every achievement in the game except "Try Hard" and "I Freaking Love Goats." Refer to those individual achievements for their videos.

    Thanks to KorbeK Gaming for this video:

  • Alexander Goatstafsson

     

    15

    Win the title bout!

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, go to the far left corner of the map up a hill to a clearing. You will see people standing around a red circle with a goat in the middle surrounded by blood. The object is to run into the circle and headbutt the goat out of the circle. After doing this four times, the message "YOU ARE SUCH A BADASS" will appear on the screen and the achievement will unlock.

    Note: If you are catapulted from the circle, just run back in; it does not reset your progress.

  • What is its purpose?

     

    30

    Thrash the Goathenge

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, run forward over the fence and to the left and through the trees you will see a pattern of standing stones in a circle. Headbutt one of them and they will fall like dominoes. If they stop, just keep headbutting them until all the stones are lying on the ground. Once the message "TRASH THE GOATHENGE" appears on the screen, the achievement will unlock.

    Note: It’s possible that this achievement is glitchy (in a good way) and you will unlock it by doing something completely random in Goat Ville. It is not unattainable; just might unlock without actually fulfilling the requirements.

  • Angel Goat

     

    15

    Do no evil

    (2)

    This is attainable in either Goat Ville or Goat City Bay.

    For this achievement, simply do not attack any people for five consecutive minutes. When you see the message "DO NO HARM", the achievement will unlock. By getting this, you unlock the Angel Goat mutator, which allows you to slow your fall when you press . Combining the Angel Goat and Double Jump mutators will make reaching higher elevations easier.

  • Boulder of Death

     

    15

    Hit the party with the Boulder of Death

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, head forward over the fence and to the right, cross the street and you will find a red house with people outside having a barbecue around a blue canopy. Continue up the hill along the path and you will find a large boulder. Position yourself behind the boulder and headbutt it towards the party. If it hits the party with enough force, the message "PARTY CRASHER!" will appear on screen and the achievement will unlock. If not, just keep headbutting it until it does enough damage for the message to appear.

  • Demogoat

     

    30

    Have 10 gas canisters explode at the same time

    (3)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Make your way to the top level of the construction site (where the tall crane is). In one of the two corners closest to the street are 10 canisters already bunched together. Simply headbutt them so they explode which will propel you from the area, unlocking the achievement. 

    Note: If you accidentally knock one or more of the canisters and they fall to the ground below, simply pause the game and select 'restart' to restart the game. It’s not like you’re going to lose any progress, and it’s easier than licking and dragging 10 canisters together from different locations on the map.

  • Devil Goat

     

    30

    We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, head to the far right corner of the map. As you walk along the path, the screen will turn red and you will see a sacrificial circle with torches around it. For this achievement, you need to bring five animals or humans into the circle. With the Goat Queen mutator turned on, use your special ability () and summon five goats inside the circle. With five total objects in the circle, a ritual will begin (the objects will morph together and go haywire) and the message "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOAT" will appear on the screen. This will change you into the Devil Goat, unlocking the achievement.

  • LOEK master

     

    30

    Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue

    (1) 

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, in the right corner of the fenced-in area you are in is a tree house. Using the trampoline directly in front of you, bounce high enough to hit the tree house and break it apart. This will cause a purple/red statue to fall to the ground, unlocking the achievement.

    Note: You need this statue for the "Trying to Bring Forth Sanctum 3?" achievement.

  • Pedestrian

     

    15

    Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue

    (1) 

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, turn around and go inside the house. Make your way upstairs and turn left. In a bedroom on the right, sitting on a dresser, there is a bluish/green shrimp-looking statue with two yellow antennae. Headbutting the dresser will cause the statue to fall to the ground, unlocking the achievement.

    Note: You need this statue for the "Trying to Bring Forth Sanctum 3?" achievement.

  • Goats 'n' Stuff

     

    15

    Hold your own concert

    (3)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, enter the building and enter the elevator at the back of the room on the first floor. You will immediately be teleported to the roof. To unlock this achievement, just walk up onto the stage and headbutt the DJ.

  • Rymdskepp i Rymden

     

    100

    Travel to space!

    (3)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Starting from the spawn point with the house behind you, turn around and go inside the garage. Sitting on a table to the left is a bluish conical object. Lick it and carry it out of the garage and to the left, past the hillbilly driving the car in a circle. You will happen upon two crop circles with poles in the middle of each circle. Place the object you are carrying on the empty pole and stand there. After about 10 seconds, a flying saucer will appear above you. When the beam of light appears, press  to jump and you will ascend into the spaceship. You will be transported into space, unlocking the achievement.

    Note: You really can’t do anything in space, so to get back to Goat Ville, pause the game and select 'respawn.'

  • A story about my goat

     

    15

    I'm sorry about my goat

    (2)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, walk to the left over the bridge. Once you cross the bridge, turn left and on the right hand side of the street, just past the "art exhibit" building, is a garage. Walk to the back left corner of the garage and you will see a blue crystal hovering inside a transporter-looking machine. Scrawled on the wall to the right of the machine is the message "DO NOT LICK!!!" To unlock this achievement, simply jump into the machine to collect the crystal.

  • Disgusting

     

    15

    Why did you step in that? Yuck

    (3)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, walk to the left and jump in the water (over the right side of the bridge). Directly in front of you will be a sewer hole. Jump inside to unlock the achievement.

  • Ling Ling into battle go

     

    15

    Fight the turtle

    (4)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    After entering the sewer from "Disgusting," walk forward a little bit and you will see a corridor to the left (it’s the only path in the sewer). Inside the small room are four people dressed like ninja turtles. All you need to do to unlock this achievement is headbutt all four.

  • Dodge This

     

    15

    Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Using the same boulder from the "Boulder of Death" achievement, lick the boulder and drag it across the street. Just to the left of the house you spawn in front of is an open field with someone driving a yellow car around in a circle. All you need to do is position the boulder in its path and the car will crash into it, destroying it and unlocking the achievement.

  • Mile High Club

     

    90

    Lick the Hanging Glider

    (2)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    Standing at the base of the yellow crane, climb up the long ladder to the platform then maneuver around to the other shorter ladder and climb up. From there, turn right and walk down to the edge of the crane (knock off the guy sitting there if you haven’t done so already). Once you’re there, look around and you will see a hang glider floating around the map. Wait for the hang glider to complete its circle around Goat Ville. When it is close enough, time and aim your jump so you land on top of the glider. It might take a few tries to get it right. Once you’re on top of it, press  to lick it, unlocking the achievement.

  • Goat of the hill

     

    15

    Everything the light touches is your kingdom

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    To unlock this achievement, you need to get to the very top of the yellow crane in the construction site. Standing at the base of the yellow crane, climb up the long ladder to the platform then maneuver around to the other shorter ladder and climb up. From there, turn right and walk down to the edge of the crane and turn around to face it. Jump up on the triangular outer portion and start to walk towards the center. Keep walking along the wire and you will get to the tippy top of the crane, unlocking the achievement.

  • A Story about my elevator

     

    30

    Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator

    (2)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, walk around the hotel until you are near the glassed-in lounge area. Jump on the roof of the lounge and you will see a mattress. Jump on the mattress and immediately press  to go rag doll. Bounce on the mattress 3-4 times to get high enough to reach the roof. Once you have the altitude, just aim for the roof and when you land on it, the achievement will unlock.

  • Mattress Madness

     

    30

    Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds

    (5)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    At the construction site, on the next to top floor closest to the street (the floor just below the 10 yellow canisters in the same corner), there are a bunch of mattresses lying on the floor. You need to jump on these mattresses 100 times within 30 seconds. After the second or third jump, it can get kind of hectic as it speeds up considerably and you keep moving from side to side and may bounce off or even fall from the floor to a lower floor or the ground below. Use  to move the camera so it is facing the ground and use  to keep the goat on the mattresses. If you bounce off of them, simply jump back on. There is really no way to tell how many times you’ve bounced since it goes so fast, so just keep at it until the achievement unlocks.

    Note: Turning on the Tall Goat mutator might make this easier since there is less room to bounce around. To unlock this mutator, you need to collect five golden trophies in Goat Ville.

  • Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3?

     

    30

    Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    For this achievement, you need to bring three objects to the sacrificial circle in the far right corner of the map. First you need the small statues from both the "Pedestrian" and "LOEK Master" achievements. Bring them both to the circle. The third item needed is a robot that is sitting inside the suspended container in the construction site.

    To get to the robot, double jump on the two stacked red containers next to the street then double jump onto the roof with the four fans. Then jump on one of the fans and it will propel you upwards. Aim your goat so it lands on top of the suspended blue container. Maneuver the goat so it falls inside the container (Slo-Mo helps) and you will see the robot inside. Lick the robot and drag it out of the container to the ground. Bring it to the sacrificial circle where the two other objects are and when you release your lick, your head will catch on fire and the achievement will unlock. 

  • Around the World in 5 Jumps

     

    30

    Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once

    (4)

    This is attainable in Goat Ville. Having the Angel Goat and Double Jump mutators turned on will allow you to navigate more easily, so they are recommended. 

    Make your way to the construction site, and next to the street you'll see some blue and red containers. Double jump onto the red containers then double jump onto the roof right next to them. You will see four fans on this roof. Now your goal is to jump onto a fan and allow it to shoot you up into the sky. As soon as you are shot up, press  to ragdoll, then go for all five trampolines in one combo, without landing or using the same one twice. Make sure as you ascend you avoid the crane as it can screw you up.

    1. At the top of the construction site
    2. Upper level of the swimming pool
    3. Lower level of the swimming pool
    4. On the grass between a blue house and red house
    5. Across the street in the fenced-in area of the house where you originally spawned

    It helps to adjust the camera so you are looking at the ground. Use  to aim for the trampolines and  to adjust the camera. Once you hit the fifth one, the achievement will unlock.

  • Try Hard

     

    30

    Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!

    (1) 

    This is attainable in Goat Ville.

    There are a total of 30 collectibles/trophies (golden goat statues) available in Goat Ville. Just go around the map and the achievement will unlock when you collect them all.

    Thanks to Maka91Productions for this video:

  • Tony Goat

     

    30

    Finish all manual quests

    (2)

    This is attainable in either Goat Ville or Goat City Bay.

    You can unlock this anywhere you are not as risk of being hit by a car or walking into objects/people. Manual means to walk on your front legs for a certain distance (this is a reference to Tony Hawk games). For this achievement, you need to walk a total of 3,000 feet without falling over.

    First, find an area you can do this safely. Walking across the field or down the sidewalk are good locations. To walk on your front legs, press  back then immediately forward. As soon as you start to walk on your front legs, press  to activate Slo-Mo (or you can do this before you start walking). Then move the  to keep the line in the middle of the meter. In Slo-Mo, this is quite easy. If you need to turn, use  to rotate the camera. Once you’ve gone 3,000 feet, press  to jump. Once you land on your feet, the achievement will unlock.

  • The Flapmaster

     

    30

    Score 10 points in Flappy Goat

    (21)

    This is attainable in either Goat Ville or Goat City Bay.

    This will be the most frustrating and time consuming achievement to unlock. There are two locations where you can play this game; upstairs on the TV in the Coffee Stain Studios house in Goat Ville or along the railing of the ferris wheel in the amusement park in Goat City Bay (the left-most game cabinet). Playing at one location or the other has no real advantages. The rumor is that it is easier on the TV because you can get closer to the screen and be at eye level. I personally found it equally frustrating at both locations.

    It’s a relatively simple game (in theory); keep pressing  to flap though breaks in what looks to be ladders without hitting anything. You need to clear 10 ladders for the achievement to unlock. This is easier said than done. The breaks are at different elevations and the game has terrible hit detection, so while it may appear you cleared the ladder, the game might say you failed. It is easier to go up than it is to go down, but be careful not to double-tap too much as this will also cause you to fail. It can be quite irritating.

    The only advice I can recommend is keep practicing. Developing a pattern to the button pressing seems to work, along with keeping the goat in line with the top of the bottom ladder. Jumping over the bottom ladder as opposed to dropping through the break seems to work. People have also suggested that muting your TV helps as you are not distracted by the awful game noises and music.

    There are tons of videos showing you how to do this, but watching someone playing and doing it yourself are two entirely different things. Still, if the video in "Goat Queen" isn’t helpful, maybe another one will be. Good luck!

  • Valkyrie

     

    30

    Go on the catapult with a rider on your back

    (1)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, go left towards the amusement park. In the middle of the park you will see a mechanical bull ride. Jump into the area and headbutt the bull. After a few seconds, someone will run out and jump on your back.

    With the rider on your back, make your way back up to the original spawn point for this location. Just before you get to the tunnel, turn right and go up the hill and on the right (covered by foliage) is a catapult. Step on the catapult and you will be slingshot up into the air, unlocking the achievement.

    Note: To get the rider off your back, pause the game and select 'restart.'

  • One Ball

     

    90

    Ride a bike for 60 sec

    (3)

    This is attainable in either Goat Ville or Goat City Bay.

    Sitting around both locations you will see bicycles. To unlock this achievement, walk up to one and press  to mount it. The object is to stay stationary and not fall off; you do not actually have to ride it around. Using , move the stick left and right to keep your balance, making sure not to lean too far one way or the other. There is no in-game timer, so you have to count in your head or use a stopwatch. When you think you’ve reached 60 seconds, press  again to dismount and if you’ve fulfilled the required time, the achievement will unlock. If not, try again.

    Note: Using Slo-Mo will not help to unlock this achievement.

  • Builder Goat

     

    90

    Find all the blocks

    (4) 

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    There are a total of three blocks to locate:

    1. From where you originally spawn, go down the street and take a right at the street with the red and blue flag at the end. Jump over the concrete wall and follow the dirt path up the hill. When you reach the first windmill pole, take the right fork down the hill and the area will become dark and a creature will chase you. To the left when you first enter the cemetery, before the grass part, is the block.
    2. Head across town towards the blue skate park. In a straight line from the skate park from the non-ramp end of the half pipe, go up the hill and near a tree you'll find this block.
    3. Head towards the amusement park. To the left of the parking lot outside the amusement park there is a glowing green timer (to start a race). Continue past that along the dirt path towards a tree on the right (before you hit the water) and the block directly beside it.

    Collecting all three blocks will unlock the achievement. If you are having any issues locating any of the blocks, refer to the video in "Goat Queen."

  • Is that a goat?

     

    30

    Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached

    (2) 

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    There are a total of six batteries to locate: 

    1. Directly next to the coaster at the corner of the wooden walkway is the most obvious battery.
    2. In the glassed-in hotel lounge area (behind the hotel overlooking the water), behind the front desk of the bar is a battery.
    3. On the hotel rooftop behind the stage is another battery.
    4. Across the street from the hotel, down the alley inside a blue container sits a battery.
    5. Down the main street where you originally spawn, there is a white building off to the left. On the rooftop in the closest corner behind a couple of barrels and fireworks is the battery.
    6. Across the street from the amusement park parking lot there is a building with a water silo on top of it. The battery is on that rooftop.

    After collecting all six batteries and placing them in the coaster area, wait for the elevator, ride it to the top and lick the coaster cars as they come around. After completing this, the achievement will unlock. If you are having any issues locating any of the batteries, refer to the video in "Goat Queen."

  • Hat Simulator

     

    30

    Buy all hats

    (3)

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    Standing facing the front of the hotel skyscraper, turn around and the hat store called "Weathers" is directly across the street. There are six hats being showcased in the display window that you need to purchase, but you need money first. When you locate a bundle of money, lick it and bring it back to the store and "give" it to the clerk behind the counter (you can only carry one bundle at a time). Each time you do this, the message "HAT SIMULATOR!" will appear on screen. You can then choose one hat from the window. Wear all six for the achievement.

    I have found 11 bundles of money at these locations: 

    • Facing the hat store, go to the right and before you cross the bridge, turn left down the small alleyway. There is a café on the left with tables outside. There are four piles of money on these tables.
    • In the hotel, there is one bundle of money behind the front desk on the first floor sitting on a desk and two bundles sitting on tables on the second floor.
    • In the glassed-in hotel lounge area (behind the hotel overlooking the water) is one bundle sitting on the counter.
    • One of the vendor stands along the water outside of the hotel has one bundle.
    • On the ground underneath the roller coaster elevator is one bundle.
    • In a house with an attached garage with a woman sitting at the dinner table is one bundle.

    Note: If you are carrying money and are not attacking people and the message "DO NO HARM" appears on the screen, the bundle you are carrying will disappear. If this happens, just go to another location and pick up another bundle.

  • I freaking love goats

     

    30

    Find all collectibles on level 2

    (5) 

    This is attainable in Goat City Bay.

    There are a total of 30 collectibles/trophies (golden goat statues) available in Goat City Bay. Just go around the map and the achievement will unlock when you collect them all.

    Thanks to Maka91Productions for this video:

DLC: GoatZ

There are 14 achievements with a total of 360 points

  • A new challenger has appeared

     

    15

    Clear 25 survival quests in one game

    Survival quests only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    Survival quests are tasks that you complete for points, health and food. Complete 25 of these in the same game and the achievement will unlock. Since you have to do this in one game, it’s okay to respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again. You will probably complete a good amount of these as you are going for “Survivalist.”

    Each quest is different and includes, but not limited to, killing zombies, crafting an item, eating a food item(s), acting like a goat, causing destruction and many other tasks. They appear in the top right corner of the screen. Also, each quest is timed, so you sometimes have to work fast to complete them. If you decide not to complete the current task, just wait out the timer for another one to display.

    You can check to see how many quests you’ve completed by pressing and navigating to ‘Death Stats.’

  • Big in Japan

     

    30

    Beat the whiplash course without getting wet

    This can be completed in either ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ or ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    The Whiplash course is located in the waterpark. Since starting the game in ‘Before Outbreak’ spawns you in a different location than ‘After Outbreak’, I will use the mall as a reference. Facing the mall, turn around and head out of the parking lot. Go to the left and across the street and you will see ticket booths between rocks underneath a ‘Whiplash’ sign on the right. Go through these booths and straight ahead is the ladder that leads you to the start of the course. Climb the ladder to begin.

    The course is similar to American Ninja Warrior/Wipeout/American Gladiators in that it has obstacles to avoid and platforms to jump on, all without falling into the water. It can be a bit tricky as you have to correctly time the rotating obstacles so they don’t hit you. There are also a few red bouncy balls that act as trampolines where if you don’t jump on them correctly, you’ll certainly fail. This is not timed so just take your time and stand still when you need to. Refer to the video below if you are having issues with a certain section.

    To make this easier, it is recommended you use Slo-Mo for the entire course ().

    Note: The video commentator says you cannot use any mutators for this. I was using the ’Double Jump,’ ‘Casual Goat,’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators (and I think the ‘Paraglider’ mutator as well) and it unlocked for me with no issues.

    Thanks to Dark X Steve Gaming for the video:

  • Don't starve

     

    30

    Eat 50 food items in one game

    (1) 

    Food items only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    You will most likely unlock this as you are going for “Survivalist” and “A new challenger has appeared.” Since you have to do this in one game, it’s okay to respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again. Note that food items do not respawn within the same game.

    Anytime you see a food item and are in need of it, lick it by pressing . There are two food stands in the courtyard of the grey skyscraper, food in the barbecue/picnic area between the grey skyscraper and the Whiplash obstacle course, some food in an upstairs room in the Coffee Stain Studios house and fruit in the Apple store in the mall. There is also food lying around here and there (near the farm there are pumpkins and in the two studios there is some). Sometimes you will see a crate with red smoke scattered about. Headbutt these and it should also include food items.

    Also remember, when you kill a zombie, you can lick up its brains which counts as a food item too.

    As long as you are licking up food as you see and need it, you should have no trouble unlocking this. There is no way to track this other than the achievement unlocking. Even if you have the ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutator on, you can still eat food items.

  • Goat from above

     

    30

    Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive

    Zombies only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    You first need to unlock the ‘Prototype Goat’ mutator and to do that you need to have unlocked the ‘Paraglider’ mutator first. Refer to “Hang tight” for more information about that.

    Make your way to the grey skyscraper and enter the elevator in the lobby. You will automatically teleport to the roof. Facing the elevator, to the right is the gold skyscraper. Walk to the edge and jump off, deploy your parachute by pressing and glide over to the rooftop of the gold skyscraper. On this rooftop is an electrified table surrounded by generators. Jump on it and you will be endowed with the ‘Prototype Goat’ mutator.

    Back on the ground, you need to gather five zombies around each other. This can be tricky as they don’t always follow you where you want to go. There is a good amount in the mall, around the barbecue/picnic area, in both studios and near the podium outside the gold skyscraper.

    Once you have five zombies close together, jump up and hold . This will cause an electrical field to appear around you. Release the button and when you land, any zombie around you will be shocked. This might take a few tries as there might not be a zombie within the radius of the shock. Keep trying until this unlocks.

  • Hang tight

     

    30

    Paraglide in the air for 1 minute

    This can be completed in either ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ or ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak’.

    The paraglider is located in two spots; on the rooftop of a building near the grey skyscraper and at the top of a platform in the waterpark (next to the slippery slide). For the purposes of this guide, we will be using the rooftop of a building.

    Make your way to the grey skyscraper. Facing it, turn around and there will be a giant red sign on the building. Next to the sign are two fans. Jump up to the fans and you will be catapulted up to the roof. Make your way over to the paraglider and walk over the black backpack sitting next to it. This will unlock the ‘Paraglider’ mutator.

    Next step you want to go back to the front of the grey skyscraper. Enter the elevator in the lobby and you will automatically teleport to the roof. In one corner, there is a ladder leading to a platform. Jump off the platform and press immediately to deploy your paraglider. Now just glide around for about a minute without touching anything and the achievement will unlock.

    Thanks to The Hidden Levels for the video:

  • I am Goat

     

    30

    Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes

    It is recommended you complete this while playing ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ so you are not interfered with.

    In front of the farm there is a fenced in area with a few goats in it. It sits along the street with the back of the mall adjacent to it. There is a small shed next to this along with another fenced in area with a few sheep. What you want to do is enter the fenced in area with the goats and just stand there. When you do, the words “Goat Simulator - Act Like A Goat” will appear on the screen. Stand in that fenced in area for five minutes and the achievement will unlock.

  • Look at it go!

     

    15

    Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb

    This can be completed in either ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ or ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’ This does not have to be done on zombies; it can be done on uninfected people as well.

    The first thing you need to do is unlock the ‘Voodoo Goat’ mutator. Refer to “Masterchef” for more information about that.

    Once you have that unlocked, you need to find a group of four or more people close together. A good place is around the giant concrete hole you jumped into to teleport to the island to unlock this mutator. Position yourself so it appears that everyone is close together and press to shoot your voodoo bomb. It’s best to aim the bomb in the middle of the people as it has a wide radius. If someone is affected by it, purple smoke will shoot from their head. As long as it affects four or more people, the achievement will unlock. If not, try a different location or try to gather four zombies together.

    Another good location is behind the fortune teller’s tent. In that location there are four people standing guard around a golden goat statue. Walk up to them and before they have a chance to react to you, press to shoot. Since they are close together, you should be able to hit all four in one shot.

    If you are not going for any of the “one game” achievements, you can simply restart your game and all the people will be respawned. Make sure you equip the ‘Voodoo Goat’ mutator.

  • Masterchef

     

    15

    Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible

    This can be completed in either ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ or ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    Make your way to the farm. Around the area, you will see a group of people standing next to a giant concrete hole. Jump into the hole and you will be teleported to an island. Jumping on the wooden boards and rocks, make your way to the top. When you get there, on the right side you will see stairs leading up to a platform with a giant cauldron filled with steaming green ooze.

    To unlock this achievement and get the ‘Voodoo Goat’ mutator, you need to drag a person into the green ooze. Looking around, you will see some businessmen wearing suits and goat masks and dancing around. Go up to one and lick them by pressing . Then drag that person up the stairs and drop them into the cauldron (it might take some maneuvering to get them into it). When they fall in, you will unlock this achievement and get the ‘Voodoo Goat’ mutator which allows you to spit a ‘voodoo bomb’ when you press .

  • Shattered dreams

     

    30

    Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game

    Zombies only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    Since you have to do this in one game, it’s okay to respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again.

    The first thing you need to do is to bring three blue barrels (with a white butterfly painted on it) to a RV camper beyond the UFO. To find the RV, looking at the crafting garage at the farm, make your way to the left around the house and the rocks will form a pathway (there are two pathways; take the leftmost one [not the one with the lampposts]). Follow the path and you will see the RV will be in front of you.

    • The first blue barrel is in that location. Turn away from the RV and you will see it in an alcove to the right. Press to lick it and drag it over to the RV where it will automatically be placed.
    • The second barrel is in the barn at the farm. At the back of the barn where the UFO is, there is a ramp which leads to the second floor. There you will find the barrel. Lick it and drag it to the RV.
    • The third blue barrel is on the rooftop of the mall in the middle of a party. Find your way up to the roof and standing in front of the DJ booth is the barrel. Lick it and drag it back to the RV.

    Now that you’ve collected and placed all three blue barrels, they will explode and cause a glowing blue substance to be spread across the map in small piles. Licking these piles will give you crystal breath which, when you press , will freeze anything in your path. Then you need to press to headbutt/kick them so they shatter.

    You only have a limited amount of time before the breath wears off, so a good method is when you find a blue pile, find a zombie, lick them and drag them back to the pile. Then lick the pile, freeze the zombie and shatter them. This will alleviate you having to find anyone after you lick a pile.

    There is no way to track this other than the achievement unlocking. Once you’ve shattered your 30th zombie, the achievement will unlock.

    Note: If you have the ‘Inventory’ mutator, there is an easier way to unlock this achievement (refer to the “Inventory Chest Mutator” section in the roadmap).

    First off, instead of licking and dragging each barrel back to the RV, you can lick a barrel then press to place it in your inventory. That way, you can go around the map and collect all three barrels without having to return to the RV after collecting each one. Once you have all three, press to open your inventory, select a barrel and press and it will drop to the ground.

    Secondly, you can go around, lick zombies and place them in your inventory just like the barrels. When you have 30+ stored up, find a blue pile, open your inventory and release a zombie. It is recommended that you only release 5-10 at a time; any more will cause the game to freeze. Then lick the blue pile and freeze all the zombies you released then headbutt/kick them. Repeat until the achievement unlocks.

    Thanks to VidGamiacUnlocked for the video (Inventory mutator):

  • Survivalist

     

    15

    Craft all items in one game

     

    Crafting parts only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    Since you have to do this in one game, it’s okay to respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again. Note that crafting parts do not respawn within the same game, so if you lose an item, you have to find another one.

    There are a total of 17 items to craft. Five of them are for weapons that are required to unlock “The Goa’th amendment.” Each item requires two parts. You need to locate, lick then drag them to one of the three crafting garages. This is not hard as it is time consuming. Below is a list of every craftable item and what parts are needed for it.

    There is no way to track this other than the achievement unlocking, so it is recommended you keep a list and cross it off when you've crafted the item.

    Weapons:

    • The Gumshot
      • Gumball Machine - Spawn house crafting garage
      • Beer Bong - Behind the spawn house
    • The Heartbreaker
      • Twig Man - In the big circus tent sitting on the bleachers to the left
      • Wedding Cake - Sitting on a table in where the judges are sitting in the waterpark
    • The Relaxer
      • Vial of Goo - At the back of the fortune teller’s tent
      • Broken Minifun - Spawn house crafting garage
    • The Antiquer
      • Mousetrap - Spawn house crafting garage
      • Bag of Flour - Sitting on the ground behind the Coffee Stain Studios house
    • The Mind Controller
      • Boombox - Sitting on a table behind the Coffee Stain Studios house
      • Crystal Ball - There is a pile of them just inside the fortune teller’s tent

    Survival:

    • Crowd Control
      • Barrel - There are a few around the farm
      • Baked Beans - Next to a trash can towards the back against on the right side of the mall (fenced in area next to ladder)
    • Edible food
      • Sugar - In front of a small shack to the right and behind the farm crafting garage
      • Any item
    • Bumper Car
      • Studio Light - In either stage of Green Screen Studios
      • Road Block - Outside of Stage 1 in Green Screen Studios (in front of the skate halfpipe)
    • Campfire
      • Torch - Behind the bar in the barbecue/picnic area
      • Twig man - Standing in a corner in the barbecue/picnic area
    • Skateboard
      • ‘SKATE’ sign - Facing Stage 1 in Green Screen Studios, there is a skate halfpipe to the left. At the top right is the sign
      • Plank - Laying on the ground by either barrier around the spawn house
    • Sweet Ride
      • Road Block - Outside of Stage 1 in Green Screen Studios (in front of the skate halfpipe)
      • ‘Furiously Fast’ sign - Facing Stage 1 in Green Screen Studios, there is a skate halfpipe to the left. On the left at ground level is the sign
    • Home Security
      • Baked Beans - On top of a dumpster in an alley next to the ‘Walk-In Bed & Breakfast’ just outside the house spawn zone
      • Light Stand - In either stage of Green Screen Studios
    • Goat Shelter
      • ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign - In the church on the top of the hill - headbutt the gravestone to the left of the door to open
      • Plank - Laying on the ground by either barrier around the spawn house

    Fashion:

    • Sneaking Boots
      • Moon prop - In the Stage 2 building, there’s a TV set on the left
      • Fashion - Clothing - in the second store on the right on the bottom floor in the mall
    • Realist Tail
      • Box of Nails - In the construction site behind the mall
      • Fashion - Clothing - in the second store on the right on the bottom floor in the mall
    • Makeshift Backpack
      • Electric Fan - On the second floor in the main room of the Coffee Stain Studios house
      • Fashion - Clothing - in the second store on the right on the bottom floor in the mall
    • Journeying Scarf
      • Toilet Paper - On the second floor in the bathroom of the Coffee Stain Studios house
      • Fashion - Clothing - in the second store on the right on the bottom floor in the mall

    Thanks to Press A to Join for the video (no Inventory mutator):

    Note: If you have the ‘Inventory’ mutator, there is an easier way to unlock this achievement (refer to the “Inventory Chest Mutator” section in the roadmap).

    Instead of licking and dragging each part back to the garage one by one, you can lick the part then press to place it in your inventory. That way, you can go around the map and collect all the parts you need, saving you a good deal of time. To retrieve the parts, while at a crafting station, press to open your inventory, select the part and press and it will drop to the ground. Keep repeating this until both this and “The Goa’th amendment” unlock.

    Thanks to VidGamiacUnlocked for the video (Inventory mutator):

  • Survive for your life

     

    30

    Survive 10 days

    You can only unlock this in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.'

    Each day in GoatZ lasts about 5 minutes, so as long as you don’t starve or are killed by zombies (and other things), you should get this achievement in around 45 minutes. Just keep moving around to avoid zombies and eat food items if you are getting hungry. Note that you can respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again.

    Turning on the ‘Casual Goat’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators will guarantee this achievement as you are immune to death and cannot go hungry.

  • The Goa'th amendment

     

    30

    Craft all the weapons in one game

     

    Crafting parts only appear in ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    Since you have to do this in one game, it’s okay to respawn if necessary but you cannot restart or else you will have to start over again.

    There are five weapons that need to be crafted to unlock this achievement. The parts for them are found all around the map. When you find one, lick it and bring it back to one of the three crafting garages. Each weapon requires two parts (both parts need to be brought back to the same garage to craft the weapon).

    In order to unlock “Survivalist,” you need to craft all 17 objects in the game. Refer to that achievement for a complete list of items, their locations and a video.

  • Too much fun

     

    30

    Kill 7 zombies with one minifun

    (2)

    This can be done in ‘GoatZ - Tutorial.'

    Work your way through the tutorial until you get to the stage where two crates are dropped from the ceiling. Headbutt these crates and one of them will include a Minifun gun (a minigun). Press to lick it and you will equip it.

    From the same hole in the ceiling will drop a number of zombies. Be careful as any mutators you selected will not be equipped, so they can kill you. Standing in one corner, let a good amount of zombies spawn. If they move towards you, avoid them by moving around the room. When you have some bunched together, press to fire the Minifun (it needs to rev up so you won’t shoot anything for the first second or two). You need to kill 7 zombies before you run out of ammo, so just pulse the trigger as it only takes a couple of rounds to kill a zombie. Keep moving around the room and shooting until the achievement unlocks. If you happen to die or run out of ammo before you kill 7, just restart the tutorial and try again.

    Thanks to VidGamiacUnlocked for the video:

  • Warm bath

     

    30

    Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool

    This can be completed in either ‘GoatZ - Before Outbreak’ or ‘GoatZ - After Outbreak.’

    The slippery slide ride is located in the waterpark. Since starting the game in ‘Before Outbreak’ spawns you in a different location than ‘After Outbreak’, I will use the mall as a reference. Facing the mall, turn around and head out of the parking lot. Go to the left and across the street and you will see ticket booths between rocks underneath a ‘Whiplash’ sign on the right. Go through these booths and to the left and you will see the slippery slide directly in front of you. Follow the circular stairs to the top.

    What you want to do is run towards the slide and you will go ragdoll as you slide down. At the end, you will be launched in the air over the Whiplash obstacle course. You will see a small kiddie pool in the barbecue/picnic area just past two umbrellas. Aim for the pool and if you land in it or hit the edge, the achievement will unlock. If it doesn’t, just try again.

    Thanks to Dark X Steve Gaming for the video:

DLC: MMO

There are 16 achievements with a total of 640 points

  • Boat Ride

     

    15

    Enjoy your trip

    Twistram is a village in the northern part of the map. Along the eastern shore, there is a pier with a row boat. Once you jump in the boat and the man starts rowing, the achievement will unlock.

  • Butthurt

     

    90

    Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.

    When you start the game, choose the ‘Tank’ class (this can also be selected as a mutator if you’re already in the game). When you spawn, all that needs to be done is to stomp on the ground with your butt by pressing . After doing this about 10-12 times, the achievement will unlock.

  • Elfstreet Boys

     

    100

    Baa with the choir

    Alvesta is a village in the northwestern part of the map. As you are approaching the village (it will be dark and purple-colored), cross the stream and stay to the right; do not jump down the waterfall as there is a path on the right. Along the right-hand side in front of you there will be a treehouse with a ramp leading up to it. In this treehouse there are a number of people standing in half circle humming. To unlock this achievement, all you need to do is press to baa.

  • Excalitgoat

     

    15

    Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator

    In Alvesta, in the center of the village, there is a fenced in area surrounded by water (just to the west of the “Elfstreet Boys” treehouse). On the shore directly to the north of this area is a stone block of with a sword embedded in it (the stone has three yellow triangles on it). Walk over to the sword and lick it by pressing . Back up and keep moving side to side until the sword decides to extract itself. When it does, the words “UNLOCKED” will appear on the screen, unlocking the ‘Excaligoat’ mutator and achievement.

  • Gravity Goat

     

    90

    Unlock the gravity goat mutator

    Old Goat Mountain is along the western border of the map. It is only accessible by following the Old Goat Path south to Glarblargle Beach and continue following it as it goes west (past a multicolored tent) then north. Keep moving forward and you will enter the mountain.

    As you enter the area, look to the right and you will see a castle-like structure with a tower. At the top of this tower is a plume of red steam. Walk around the structure and you will see a waterfall of lava. Jump into the lava pit and the steam will bounce you up. Do this three or four times until you are high enough to reach the red steam (there is another lava pit higher up that you can use as well). When you touch the red steam, you will unlock the ‘Anti-Gravity Goat’ mutator and this achievement.

  • Jörgen

     

    15

    Jörgen

    Along the eastern border of the map, just north of the Goatwind gates, there is an exclamation point (which indicates a quest). You will see a dancing person inside a yellow/orange circle with a number of creatures around him. Step inside the circle to “talk” to the person and he will ask you to kill 10 bears. When the quest starts, kill the creatures by any means necessary (you can butt stomp them if you have the ‘Tank’ mutator on). Stay in the area as they respawn.

    Once you’ve killed 10, a green circle will appear around the person. Step into it and the words “I HATE BEARS” will pop up on the screen, signifying the quest is complete. When you see that, the achievement will unlock.

    Thanks to Dark X Steve Gaming for the video:

  • Love or Hate?

     

    15

    Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.

     

    There are a total of 20 collectibles/trophies (golden goat statues) available in Goat MMO. Just go around the map and the achievement will unlock when you collect them all.

    Thanks to Press A to Join for the video:

  • Mermaid Goat

     

    15

    Unlock the mermaid mutator

    To unlock this achievement, it is easier to have the ‘Inventory’ mutator active.

    You first need to “talk” to a person (Ariel) in Goatshire about a quest. This person is located in the inn/tavern in the center of the village. It is the building with the fruit vendor out front. Step into the yellow/orange square to listen to what they have to say. Ariel wants you to bring Miranda the Mermaid back to her. When she finishes talking, it will initiate the quest (you can leave before she finishes talking to get a head start).

    From the tavern, walk north through Gold Fields until you come to a path. Take that path west until you cross two bridges. This area is known as Mermaid’s Tail. After you cross the second bridge, turn south and follow the path to Glarblargle Beach. Before you get to the beach, to the left is a lone mermaid standing around a yellow patch of sand (a geyser). This is Miranda the Mermaid.

    You’re going to want to kill it, so headbutt it until it’s dead. Then lick it and press to place it inside your inventory chest. Press to confirm that it’s in there then again to exit. Then you need to return to the inn/tavern in Goatshire and when you walk into the green circle, the words “THE MERMAID - TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL” will appear on the screen, indicating that you’ve completed the quest which will unlock the achievement.

    Thanks to VidGamiacUnlocked for the video:

  • Music Non Stop

     

    90

    Jump on the launchpad

    (1)

    Starting at the inn/tavern in Goatshire (the building with the fruit stand out front), walk away from that building and jump over the stream. Walk between the two buildings in front of you and when you pass the building on the left, turn left and walk forward up an incline.

    Follow the path up the incline (to your left is a wider stream and a waterfall) and you will come to a clearing. There is a giant tree just across the stream in front of you. Jump over the stream and walk behind the tree (there is a person lying in front of it). You will see a hole in the ground. Walk into this hole and the game will ask you if you want to travel to the next area. Select ‘Travel’, the game will load and you will appear bouncing on a keyboard. Rotate around and you will see a giant person dancing. Walk towards that person and you will eventually fall off the desk. The game will load again and you will spawn at the geyser on Glarblargle Beach, unlocking the achievement.

    Thanks to XBLA Fans for the video:

  • Not Again

     

    15

    Get deviously trapped again

    In Twistram, there is a quest giver standing in the center of the village that goes by the name Dumbledoor the Grey. Speaking with him will set you on a quest to retrieve a Demonic Horn, which is only found in Old Goat Mountain.

    Travel south to Old Goat Mountain and as you make your way into the main area, you will see a couple of goats fighting a tall demon. You can either kill the demon yourself or let the other goats kill it. When it’s dead, it will drop a demon horn named ‘DemonMasterLordOfDestructionKiller’. Press to lick it and make your way back to Twistram (you can press to place it in your inventory chest if you have it active).

    When you arrive back in Twistram, step into the green circle and you will give the horn to Dumbledoor, completing your quest. This will automatically open up a blue portal. Jump inside the portal and travel to the next area. The words “IT’S A TRAP” will appear on the screen and you will be stranded in this new location, unlocking the achievement.

    To get back to the “real” world, select ‘Restart’ from the menu.

  • Old Goat

     

    30

    OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?

    For this achievement you have to travel to Old Goat Mountain and unlock the ‘Old Goat’ mutator.

    Travel south to Glarblargle Beach, turn right and follow the Old Goat Path up to Old Goat Mountain. As you approach the main area, turn right and go through the stone overpass and make another right and you will see a green portal. Step through the portal and you will spawn inside the stronghold.

    In the next room, jump over the gap and try to avoid the crushing walls. It may take a few tries, but when you have reached the ledge on the other side, turn left towards a grey brick wall. Headbutt it until you can walk through. Walk forward and you will be crushed by wall spikes (it’s unavoidable). Fight your way forward until you clear this obstacle. When you reach the turn in the corridor, a boulder will roll from right to left and get stuck in flames. If you’re behind the boulder, headbutt it out of the way and walk forward (through the flames).

    When you get to the next area, you will be crushed by the ceiling. Again, fight your way to the other side and when you’re through, you will see a giant spoon sitting on the floor. Turn left and walk forward and you will come into a room with a giant dinosaur eating at a table, unlocking the ‘Old Goat’ mutator and the achievement.

    Thanks to XBLA Fans for the video:

  • Steal the Show

     

    30

    Do a card trick at the magician

    Note: Before you unlock this achievement, activate the ‘Magician’ mutator or restart the game and select the ‘Magician’ class.

    Goatwind is along the eastern border of the map. As you approach the gates, step into the blue portal and travel to the next area. When you spawn inside Goatwind, head straight down the main street. When you see a statue of a person crawling on their stomach on the left, walk behind that statue and there is a crowd of people watching a magician levitate a jug. Walk up to the magician and press to throw around some playing cards, unlocking this achievement.

  • The Charter Trip

     

    30

    Visit all zones on the MMO level

    There are 16 locations in the game. As you are traveling through the game collecting the golden goat statues for “Love or Hate?,” you will pass through all but one of these locations, which is ‘Your House’ (in Goatshire). Here’s a list of all the zones and a video showing them:

    1. Snowflake Factory
    2. Adventurer’s Path
    3. Gold Farm
    4. Goatshire
    5. Your House (in Goatshire)
    6. Gold Fields
    7. Goatwind Wall
    8. Goatwind (go through the blue portal)
    9. Twistram
    10. Twistram Cathedral (in Twistram)
    11. Mermaid’s Tail
    12. Alvesta
    13. Glarblargle Beach
    14. Bullgrurzh
    15. Old Goat Pass
    16. Old Goat Mountain

    Thanks to XBLA Fans for the video:

  • The Icelandic Experience

     

    30

    It never erupts when you want it to.

    After you’ve obtained the ‘Wheel Goat’ mutator (refer to “Wheel Goat”) and you have it active, make your way to Glarblargle Beach. As you approach the beach, on the left is a yellow patch of sand with a hole in the center. That hole is a geyser. Just wait until the geyser erupts then press to stop time. Walk into the geyser and you will be launched in the air. When you land the achievement will unlock.

  • Voluntary QA

     

    30

    Trash the server room

    In Alvesta, standing in the center fenced-in area, head west over the stepping stones. Walk up the ramp directly in front of you, turn around and walk up another ramp. This leads to a treehouse. As you enter, turn left and you will see an opening. Jump through the opening, walk straight and you will see a stop sign, a table and a folding chair. To your right will be a thin wooden ramp. Walk up this ramp into a room and walk through a door and you will be in the server room. All you need to do is headbutt the servers. When you’ve caused enough damage, a message will appear on the screen that says “ERROR SERVERS ARE DOWN.” Select ‘Yes’ to the achievement will unlock.

    Thanks to XBLA Fans for the video:

  • Wheel Goat

     

    30

    Unlock the wheel of time mutator

    Head towards Glarblargle Beach. As you approach the beach, veer to the left and behind a small wooden structure is a path that leads into a covered area. Just ahead of you will be a gold hammer and anvil. From there, walk right and continue down the corridor. When it opens up you will be in a room with a gold wheel. Jump up and press to headbutt the wheel and the achievement will unlock.

DLC: PAYDAY

There are 13 achievements with a total of 195 points

  • The Big Score

     

    15

    Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.

     

    There are a total of 20 collectibles/trophies (golden hearts) available. Just go around the map and the achievement will unlock when you collect them all.

    Note: It is recommended that you use Valentino Salami (the flamingo) to collect these as he can fly, making this much easier.

    For every five hearts you collect, you unlock a mutator:

    • Magical Headbutt - Collect 5 hearts
    • Hogtie - Collect 10 hearts
    • Scale Goat - Collect 15 hearts
    • Helicopterkin - Collect 20 hearts

    Thanks to Adam Grammer for this video:

  • Retirement

     

    15

    Just finish that one LAST job.

    For this achievement you need to complete all 13 pranks which are found by accessing any BAAA machine. These can be completed in any order. Refer to the video playlist if you are having difficulty with any of them.

    The pranks are:

    1. Chocolate Factory
    2. Drill for Cheese
    3. Mess with the police
    4. Cops and robbers
    5. Flippin Burgs
    6. Make cops fly
    7. Catastrophe
    8. Exploding cake
    9. Drive in Saturday
    10. Buried games
    11. Prison Break: The Dev
    12. Space Cow
    13. The Godmother

    Thanks to Adam Grammer for this playlist:
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjYy_11XkXdzQuYPovlo_Iy7nYEWa1X3y

  • What's the Count?

     

    15

    Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.

    Go to the casino and on the right hand side are blackjack tables. Walk up to one and press to deal. Using the command buttons, determine if you want to hit or stand with what was dealt to you. To unlock this achievement, you need to beat the dealer three times; it doesn’t have to be consecutive wins.

  • GoatBall

     

    15

    Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.

    In the desert you will see a green circle, which designates the first ring you have to drive through. There is a dune buggy parked right next to the finish line. Jump in the dune buggy and drive to the rock formation behind the green circle. Make sure you are in a straight line to the ramp beyond the finish line.

    Press to boost the buggy through the green circles as they appear. When you’ve gone through the circle at the top of the ramp, stop pressing and just sail through the remaining three circles in the sky.

    Note: It may take a couple of tries to get the trajectory just right to fly through all the circles.

  • Goatfellas

     

    15

    Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.

    All you need to do for this achievement is get all four crew members into the same car and drive to the drive-in theater which overlooks the desert (for the “GoatBall” achievement). Park amongst the other cars and the achievement will unlock.

  • Goatipede

     

    15

    Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.

    Form a line with all four crew members. Then have the second character lick the first one, the third character lick the second one and the fourth character lick the third one. If all characters are connected, the achievement will unlock.

  • You raise me up!

     

    15

    Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.

    The tallest building in this DLC is the one that has the circular roof (at street level is the movie theater). Dolph’s wheelchair can climb up any wall because his wheels stick to anything. He can even roll on ceilings.

    Get Dolph and another crew member to that building (instead of dragging it to the building from the zoo). Using Dolph, lick the other crew member and make your way up the side of the building. Even if the other crew member gets stuck down below this will unlock. Once you reach the top of the building, the achievement will unlock.

  • Bounce it!

     

    15

    Enable the hydraulic cars.

    First thing you want to do is to visit the Cowie’s burger joint. Outside in the parking lot there are three people standing around two vehicles. When you walk up to them, it will say that they need a boombox.

    A boombox is found in the aerobics center which is one street before the burger joint. Walk into the center and along the far wall is a boombox. Lick it and take it back to Cowie’s. Walk up to the people and they will start dancing, unlocking the achievement.

    Note: If the game glitches, there might be more or less people and/or vehicles in the Cowie’s parking lot.

  • Itsamee!

     

    15

    Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.

    (1)

    The cannon that you need to use is on a hill with the radio tower which overlooks the stadium. Walk up to the cannon and press to enter it. Aim the cannon so the whole island is visible, but the bottom is just barely visible. Wait for the strength meter to be about three-quarters full then press to shoot yourself off. As long as you touch the island (you can fall short or overshoot it), the achievement will unlock.

  • Plentiful masquerade

     

    15

    Wear 30 masks at once

    You will need $750 in order to buy 30 masks. Once you have enough money (doing pranks is the quickest way to earn it), go to any BAAA machine and select ‘Crew Gear’. Press to buy 30 $25 masks; there’s a counter at the top right to let you know how many you’ve bought. When you have enough, press to equip them all and the achievement will unlock.

  • Dastardly

     

    15

    Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.

    In order to unlock this achievement, you will first need the ‘Hogtie’ mutator which is unlocked upon collecting 10 golden heart trophies (refer to “The Big Score” for more information).

    Once you have the mutator and it is equipped, walk up to any NPC and press Y to throw a cable tie around the NPC. Then press to lick them and make your way over to the railroad tracks. Position the NPC in the center of the rails and press to release them.

    The train shows up randomly, so just wait next to the tracks until it shows up. Once it runs over the NPC, the achievement will unlock.

  • The Song of my People

     

    15

    Listen to the whole pan flute song.

    Outside of the Harvest & Trustee Bank (near the hot air balloon), there are 2-4 NPCs wearing hats standing around a boombox. Walk up to them and press to “donate” $10 to listen to them. They will start dancing when the music starts and after about 20 seconds, the achievement will unlock.

  • Le Voyage Dans la Lune

     

    15

    A Trip to the Moon.

    The easiest way to unlock this is to complete the ‘Buried Games’ prank. It is recommended that you use Valentino Salami (the flamingo) as he can fly and traverse the environment the easiest.

    Near the train tracks up on a small hill (there the tracks form into a bridge) is a vault in the ground. You will need a drill to open it and there’s one close by in an alley where you take the captured cats to complete the ‘Catastrophe’ prank (refer to “Retirement” for more information).

    Once you have the drill, return to the vault and place it on the door so it automatically starts drilling. You may need to position the drill once or twice more to fully unlock the door. When the vault opens, fly down the hole and you will be in a room with a construction light surrounded by paper (or disks). Lick one of these papers/disks and fly back up the hole to the surface.

    Fly over to the pirate ship nearby and walk into the room with all the servers. Touch the paper/disk to the servers and it will begin to upload (the message ‘UP, UP AND AWAY!’ will pop up on the screen). The ship will start moving. Just wait for about a minute and the ship will launch up into the air. There will be a loading screen and when you reappear, you and your three crew members will be on the moon, unlocking the achievement.

DLC: Waste of Space

There are 12 achievements with a total of 180 points

  • Bacon Marauder

     

    15

    Shoot Down 30 Police Ships

    For these three achievements, you need to leave the colony and travel into space. You can do this once you’ve raised $15,000 and unlocked your spaceship. Upgrades unlock at $35,000 so keep that in mind as these upgrades help the control of your spaceship. It is parked on the landing pad outside of the Crowd Kicker HQ. To get to it, there are two doors in the HQ lobby. Going through the left door will take you to a lift which leads up to the landing pad.

    To enter the spaceship, jump on top of it and press . Once in the cockpit, you will see the controls in front of you. On the left side, the down arrow is to decelerate/brake and the up arrow is to accelerate. To the right side of the flight stick are green and red buttons. The green button is to boost your ship and the red button ejects you from the ship (for which you’ll have to hold to return to the colony). You move between the buttons by moving to move your left paw. (Author note: Once I found out what the green and red buttons did, I only ever used the up and down arrows from then on until I unlocked all three achievements, then I pressed the red button to eject and return to the colony).

    Once you’re in the spaceship, move your paw to the up arrow and press to fly into space. In space, you will see colored arrows around your screen. When you maneuver, they appear as squares when they are within your sight.

    • Red arrows/squares are the pirate ships. There are roughly 20 of them that appear at intervals.
    • Yellow arrows/squares are the freighters. There are roughly 11 of them that appear at intervals as you destroy the pirate ships.
    • Blue arrows/squares are the police ships. There are more than 30 of these. These appear as freighters are destroyed.

    The controls to the ship handle atrociously. You use to control the ship. The Y-Axis is inverted and cannot be changed, so pressing up moves you down and vice versa. Moving the stick to the left or right performs a barrel roll in either direction. It can be quite frustrating when you’re trying to line up a shot. You shoot by pressing . If you hold , you will continually shoot. That’s it.

    There is no real strategy to destroying the ships. It is recommended that once you have a target in sight, it doesn’t matter which, you try and center on it then press the up arrow to accelerate towards it. Fly for a few seconds then press the down arrow to stop your ship. If you aim carefully, you can destroy the ship at a distance (the game is very particular and you have to be almost exactly on target). If you feel you need to be closer, accelerate for a couple more seconds then stop again. This works especially well for the pirate ships since the closer you get, the more they try to avoid you.

    On the other hand, if you get close to a ship (or group of ships), sometimes you will auto aim and you can easily destroy multiple ships without moving (if you’re quick with the ). It is not known what triggers the auto aim; it only happened with me a few times.

    There is no time limit to unlock these, but should take about an hour for all three (less or more depending on how well you grasp the controls). If you happen to lose your shields and your spaceship is destroyed, don’t worry. Hold to return to the colony and make your way back to the Crowd Kicker landing pad, walk up to the control panel on the right and press to respawn your spaceship. If you happen to return inside the Carrier, your spaceship will be ready for you inside the hanger. Any ships that you have destroyed previously will still be destroyed, so as long as you don’t restart your game, your progress will continue.

  • Be Not Afreight

     

    15

    Destroy All Freighters

    Refer to “Bacon Marauder” for more information.

  • I Wanna Be A Baahlionaire

     

    15

    Gather $1000000

    To gather $1,000,000 as fast as possible, you need to have raised $100,000 and earned an invitation to have dinner with the CEO of the colony.

    To raise $100,000, just go around smashing crates, headbutting humans with dollar signs around them, completing quests and collecting trophies. This will come naturally as you are going around unlocking other achievements.

    Note: If you restart your game (not respawn), everything in the game will be reset except the amount of money you raised. So if you are having trouble finding a good amount of money, just restart your game and everywhere you have collected previously will have respawned.

    Once you have raised $100,000, the question mark area in the northwest part of the map will now be accessible. This is where the CEO is located. Make your way to that area and enter the “chamber” of the CEO. He will be dancing at the head of a long table. Stand next to him and headbutt him and he will say “You’re fired!!” (you can read what he has to say before you do that but it’s not necessary).

    Now comes the fun part. You now have the ability to spawn an unlimited amount of money chests. As you continually press , money chests will spawn and smash constantly. This needs to be done for roughly 10 minutes to reach $1,000,000. Once you do, the achievement will unlock.

    It is not known when you lose this ability (whether by respawning or selecting/deselecting mutators and then mutating back into the game), but eventually pressing will not spawn any more crates, so it is recommended you do this as soon as you have the ability.

  • IT'S WORKING!

     

    15

    Run Wild With The Podrunner

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn left and head towards the Research dome. When you reach the dome, walk along the left side and you will see a launch pad bathed in spotlights with a podrunner parked there. Stand next to the cockpit and press to use it.

    Sitting in the cockpit, press and together and you will be catapulted forward out of control. Keep the buttons pressed until the achievement unlocks.

  • My Little Brony

     

    15

    Find All The Pony Horses

    (1) 

    There are five pony horses total. To collect them all, you need to have raised at least $25,000 to gain access to the Carrier and Teleporters.

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn right and head towards the Travel Agency. Enter it and on the right side is a teleporter to the Carrier. Step inside to energize.

    When you arrive on the carrier, there are five pony horses to collect:

    1. The first pony is on the same platform as the teleporter. Turn to your right (towards the hanger) and pick it up.
    2. The second pony is on top of the left-hand shuttle parked in the hanger.
    3. The third pony is along the Facility Tour tracks. Enter the tracks to the right of the glass car. Head down the tracks and wall jump to the next level. Follow the tracks again and at the end of the second tube, wall jump to the next level. When you reach the top, turn around and you will see a glass car stuck in the tube. Jump into it to collect the pony.
    4. The fourth pony is in the Canteen (to the left of the Facility Tour when facing it). Follow the corridor to the grav lift and float to the next level. Enter the Canteen door and sitting on a chair on the patio is the pony.
    5. The fifth pony is in the Crew Quarters (to the right of the Facility Tour when facing it). Enter the door and go down the stairs. When you’ve reached the bottom, turn around and the pony is behind the stairs.

  • NERD!

     

    15

    Find All Collectibles

     

    There are a total of 30 collectibles/trophies (golden rockets) available. Just go around the map and the achievement will unlock when you collect them all.

    Note: To collect them all, it is recommended that you have raised $25,000 to gain access to the Teleporters (to travel around the colony easier). For the final collectible, you can either raise $40,000 to access the Test Chambers and complete all 8 tests (refer to “Testaholic” for more information) or use the ‘Paraglider’ mutator (if you have the GoatZ DLC installed) to fly up to the very top of the Test Chambers dome. Be careful as if you fly too high you won’t be able to descend and will have to hold to respawn.

    Map of the colony

    Thanks to Ktcee Achiever for the video:

  • Timey Wimey

     

    15

    Visit The Badehaus

    (1)

    To get this achievement, you need to have raised at least $25,000 to gain access to the Museum, Carrier and Travel Agency teleporters.

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn right and head up the cliff towards the Museum. Enter it and keep walking straight and over a bridge and enter the Air and Space building. Walk up the steps to the left and follow the walkway all the way around to the end and you will see a blue phone box (a mock of the Doctor Who TARDIS). This is called the ‘TURDIS’.

    Headbutt the TURDIS and it will shake and disappear. It will appear in one of two locations: on the ledge opposite the teleporter in the Carrier or next to the QR cube and two statues in the center of the Academy dome. Use the teleporters to travel to one of those two locations to find it. When you find it, headbutt it again and it will shake and disappear and will reappear at the other location (if it was on the Carrier first it will appear at the Academy, and vice versa).

    Travel to that second location and headbutt it again to make it disappear. It will reappear in its final location; in front of the Safe Parking section just outside the 3D Printer building in the Research dome. Instead of headbutting it, just walk into it and you will be transported to The Badehaus, which will unlock the achievement.

    Note: There is a golden rocket trophy in this room, so it is recommended you pick this up now rather than having to go through these steps to gain access to The Badehaus again. It is located on the taller diving board platform.

  • Testaholic

     

    15

    Complete Test Chambers

    To gain access to the Test Chambers, you need to have raised at least $40,000.

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn left and head towards the really tall building to the up on a hill (stay to the left of the Research dome). Enter the door, drop down the hole and walk along a corridor to the next door to enter the outer office of the test chambers.

    There are 8 chambers in all. These test chambers are similar to what is in the game Portal but are much easier, smaller and you don’t have a portal gun. In most chambers you have to manipulate the “companion cow”, which is a mock of the companion cube in Portal.

    1. Test Chamber 1 - Lick the cow and place him on the button. The tube will suck it up and open the door.
    2. Test Chamber 2 - This chamber can be confusing since there are so many red buttons, but you only have to press one. It is located right next to the red teleporter. Press it and the door will open.
    3. Test Chamber 3 - When the cow appears, lick it and walk up the ramp. Jump onto the second glass platform, let go of it then jump down and press the red button. A wall will push the cow onto the “see-saw” and fling the fridge forward, breaking a wall. Lick the cow again and use the grav lift to reach the upper level. Place the cow on the button to have it sucked up which will open the door.
    4. Test Chamber 4 - When you enter, there will be an object sitting on a “table”. Jump on it to pick it up and the ‘Tether Goat’ mutator will unlock. Walk up to the cow and press then walk to the glowing electrical pulse on the wall next to the red button and press again to tether the cow to the electrical pulse. Press the red button and watch the cow ascend along the wall, move over and descend behind the glass wall onto a button to be sucked up, opening the door.
    5. Test Chamber 5 - When you enter this chamber, press on the cow then press again on the electrical pulse to tether the two together. Press the red button for the cow to ascend. Now you need to do a series of jumps in between pressing red buttons to advance the cow. Walk up the ramp at the far side of the room and jump over to the red button. Press it and jump to the next platform and press that red button. The next platform has a jump pad which will catapult you to another ramp. Drop down from that ramp to the red button platform and press it. Jump back onto that ramp and the cow will be moved behind a glass wall and dropped. Walk up to the cow, lick it and place it on the button to be sucked up which will open the door.
    6. Test Chamber 6 - At the beginning of this chamber there are three robotic Chihuahuas shooting lasers. Before you do anything, walk up to each Chihuahua and headbutt them so they fall over and stop shooting. Then go back to the cow, press on it and the electrical pulse to tether them together and press the red button. The cow will travel along slowly. There is no need to step on the red buttons as they move a barrier to protect the cow. As the cow travels along, the far wall will open up revealing three more Chihuahuas. The first one it comes to is behind a barrier so it will do no harm, but headbutt the other two to make it safe. When it passes the dogs, the cow will be dropped behind a glass wall and sucked up, opening the door.
    7. Test Chamber 7 - When this chamber starts, lick the cow and carry it to the end. Keep following the corridor around what seems to be an endless loop and when the walls are lined with pictures of cows, turn back around and the floor will have disappeared. Drop down to the next level, follow the corridor and drop down again to access Test Chamber 8.
    8. Test Chamber 8 - This one is quite simple. While still attached to the cow, walk under the red laser in front of you and step on the red button. This will open a door. In the next room, there is a darkened corridor to the right (which is actually a downward ramp) and a locked door in front of you. Manipulate the cow so it slides down the darkened corridor which will open the door. Walk through it to unlock the achievement. Note: If you go down the ramp with the cow, you will turn into a cow and unlock the ‘Milky Way Goat’ mutator.

    Note: There is a golden rocket trophy after you complete the final test chamber. Follow the carpet-lined corridor to the end and enter a glass elevator. Ride it to the very top and exit and before you enter the door to the diner, to the right is the golden trophy which counts towards “NERD!”.

  • The World Is Your Canvas

     

    15

    Tag 10 Walls

    (1)

    Note: The description of this achievement is a little misleading. You don’t have to tag walls with an image, you just have to shoot the spray can against a wall 10 times.

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility and keep straight. Cross a bridge and directly in front of you is the Academy dome. When you enter it, to your right will be a fenced in area with a small building beside it called ‘The Slammer’. Enter this small building and to your left will be a cell with a few spray cans in it. Lick one and drag it out of the cell.

    Next, lick a human from anywhere and drag it into that cell. After a few seconds, a force field will appear with the message “Jailbait!” This will unlock the ‘Juvenile Goat’ mutator, allowing you to tag walls. Lick the spray can, exit the building and head towards the center of the dome. As you walk along, you will see a skull image on a wall to your left. Press and hold to shoot the spray can and change this into a devil goat face. Walk around that building (in the same direction you were going) and you will see a white slanted wall. While against the wall, press and hold to shoot the spray can. Repeat until the achievement unlocks.

  • Use The Sword, Goat

     

    15

    Pickup A Photon Sword As Father Or Good Goat

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn left and walk across the bridge towards the Research dome. Staying to the right of the dome, pass under the tube that connects Research and Academy and just past it you will see a jump pad. When you’re up in the air, directly in front of you in the distance you will see a reddish/colorful area. When you reach it, there will be a human standing on a bridge with two pits on either side; a rainbow ball pit and a lava pit.

    Lick the human and drop him in either pit (the ball pit unlocks the ‘Good Goat’ mutator and the lava pit unlocks the ‘Father Goat’ mutator). When that is done and the mutator is unlocked, backtrack across the bridge and jump over the rocks immediately in front of you. You will drop down a level and to your right will be an alcove with two humans holding photon swords. Head into the alcove and lick one of the few swords lying around and the achievement will unlock.

  • The Alien Or The Egg?

     

    15

    Headbutt All Alien Eggs

    (1)

    There are 37 alien eggs total. To destroy them all, you need to have raised at least $5,000 to gain access to the Museum as there is one egg required for this achievement in there. The other 36 are at the north end of the map.

    Note: When you destroy an egg, an alien attaches itself onto your face and your movements are reversed (forward is back/back is forward and left is right/right is left). The alien detaches itself after about 5 seconds.

    From where you spawn in the Crowd Kicker HQ, exit the facility, turn right and head up the cliff towards the Museum. Enter it and just inside the entrance to the left is a glowing green alien egg on display. Headbutt it to destroy it (you can also mule kick them).

    From here, keep to the left and exit the dome through a side door which leads back into the colony. Exit the door, turn left and fall/jump down a cliff (avoiding the jump pad). When you land, you will see more green glowing eggs to your right. This is where the other 36 are. They are mostly bunched up in groups but there are a few here and there that are standing alone. There are none hidden so they are all easy to find (there is one high on the cliff face that while you can reach, you can’t headbutt it and is not required for the achievement). Work your way up the incline, headbutting all the eggs that you see. When you reach the top, if you’ve destroyed them all, the achievement will unlock. If it doesn’t, you missed one or more along the way so just backtrack and verify you’ve destroyed them all.

  • Ruler Of the Seven Skies

     

    15

    Blow Up All Pirate Ships

    Refer to “Bacon Marauder” for more information.

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  • bLaKgRaVy & Maka

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